paid-up Well, since I can see that the game is up, as the authorities trawl through the internet and efficiently mop up old ladies making angry tweets, I know that real members of the Far-Right like me are on borrowed time in England. It’s clear that prison sentences of a couple of years for one Tweet of an opinion will be several times greater for those who antagonise justice by not pleading guilty. Or that’s what we see from the January 6 occupation in America – even thinking about attending a rally gets them solitary confinement for three years before trial – until they make a plea deal and become one of the 800 self-confessed unarmed insurrectionists. When America sneezes, Britain catches a cold. So it’s time to own up now and plan for my eventual release while I’ve still got time to pay into my State Pension.
To be fair, I haven’t been a paid up Far-Right Mindless Thug for that long. Before a few months ago I was a member of Antifa, and they’re well-known as intelligent thugs, though I admit I never understood much of the theory. I left firstly because I heard the EDF, contrary to belief, hadn’t disbanded a decade ago after all, but with overseas funding from a shadowy billionaire called Elon Something had simply gone underground, its executive leader, as everyone knows, being Nigel Farage, with Tommy Robinson as its public face. The last was a particularly cunning choice, Tommy having founded and then repudiated the EDF, and ever since condemned violence and racism, motivating and radicalising vulnerable mindless Brits by reverse psychology. Or that’s what I read in some Antifa training material. Anyway, you have to admit that stage managing an insurrection from a Spanish sun-bed via YouTube shows some generalship, right?
Anyway, the main reason I changed sides was, naturally, because I reckoned I could smash more heads for the Far-Right than for Antifa. EDF currently has fourteen million members, though if you count the family, friends and associates it’s far more than that, so we’re top in any bundle. And to be honest, I was fed up with politics. I’m told that Hitler’s Nazis had some kind of poncy political theory, which is why it was called “Far-Right,” though maybe it was Far-Left since it was Socialism, but you’d be mistaken to think there is any politics in our movement, because you can’t be a mindless thug and a politics geek. Bashing heads rules, OK? My degree got cancelled by COVID, and I never really got Carbon Studies anyway, but there was a good bar full of immigrants on student visas where I learned what matters.
Anyway, defecting from Antifa gave me some useful advantages. For a start, I already had my official black gear and balaclava, which was great once I’d blacked out the “Kill” in the “Kill Fascism” logo. And anyway, I still had my official government rail permit, which still works because it’s marked “OHMS.”
You might wonder why MI5 hasn’t penetrated the EDF yet, despite being able to attribute the recent riots to it so quickly, and knowing that we are sending gangs of hooded but un-apprehended individuals round the country by train and bus. Well, that’s the really cunning part. When I say we are “underground,” we literally are, in a disused salt-mine in Cheshire, where GCHQ can’t even monitor us. And that’s where we scuttle back to sharpish after setting light to a car and lobbing a few bricks, and that’s why nearly all the people doing porridge for the riots are local lads and not our EDF members. Scarlet Pimpernel, eat your heart out.
You’d be well impressed at our meetings, with fourteen million mindless thugs all gathered together in a big cavern lit by a burning police van, and Nigel up there in his special robes, sacrificing goats and all that with Tommy drinking the blood. And there’s a good bar. Plus a soccer field where members from the Millwall B Team help us practice football hooliganism for the riots.
My membership number, in case you doubt my word, is EB11-52/9, which was also my grandad’s Eagle Club number – you may not realise that Rev Marcus Morris started the Eagle comic as a crypto-fascist colonialist fake news outlet, whatever that means, so he must have been OK and I chose the number out of respect.
Now I’ve certainly got a swastika tattoo on my chest, but I’ve had that since I was in Antifa, and I got it when the government was all for supporting the Azov Batallion in Ukraine. Apparently over there it’s not Far-Right, but middle-of-the-road, to torture journalists and close churches. You can see why I don’t do politics. It’s too confusing, and anyway you end up being drafted into the army if you’re not careful.
And basically, we don’t want a fight – just to bash a few heads in mindlessly. That’s why we chickened out of those 100 riots we arranged when the government rumbled us and called out the “Hate not Hope” mob. They’re funded by George Soros, who hates Elon and is more street-savvy, which is why their placards are better than ours. In any case, as I found when I was in Antifa, they’re run by MI5 who work with the police, so it wouldn’t be a fair fight. So most of us were watching Millwall back in Cheshire.
Anyway, you’ve heard my confession, and now I’m off to the nearest Nick to turn myself in, if they’ll have me. Every word of this is as true as the fact that I’m nothing to do with the 77th Brigade and there’s no such thing as two-tier justice. See you when I get out fellahs, eh?
Free speech and free association were established rights long ago. I presume somewhat later in Brotain if so. So its a matter of enforcing existing rights. Opponents will have thier moral and intellectual claims why control and punishment must be allowed. And by who. Well one needs just defeat them like on this blog. Free men must become good or great lawyers. the others only need be good or average. the bad guys always have the advantage. Give the people a chance to obey the rights of free man. Europe failed long ago . Britain hung on and in America, less Vanada, was done much better.
by the way I found this blog from a old ID blog where i was banned because i said something i consider true and kind. The blog rightly went into the dustbin of history becauce it bitched about censorship and then censored.
It seems England needs a Churchillian strong man to demand the return of a moral and intellectual rights to speech association, and evrerything. The right to accuse and defend against accusation. its just forceful people in small circles that rule britain by the way.
I heard that Machiavelli said that when “foxes” get into power, ruling by burgeoning bureaucracy and dissimulation and failing to do the basic job of protecting the nation, there’s a historical inevitability that they will be swept away by a “lion.”
Unfortunately, that’s more often an Adolf Hitler than a Winston Churchill, so we need to be cautious about endorsing national saviours, even as we recognise the foxes to be malicious.
Theologically, of course, if these were the end times, we expect the lion to be a highly successful Antichrist – only to be soon swept away by the real Lion, the returning Christ.